If you're looking for my old stuff you'll notice I've deleted everything... again. I'm trying to start over fresh here, hoping it will not bog things down so much and keep me coming back to Deviant Art! I don't know how long this will stay here, but its worth a shot.

Its half way through the year already! Many many things have happened, don't be surprised if I miss alot of details trying to remember it all.

I'm in a new city, making new friends, trying new things. Okay, so I've lived here almost two years. Its still new to me. Almost everytime I go out walking I find a new place or something I haven't noticed before. It counts, I swear!

I've joined up in the SCA, the Society for Creative Anachronism. Think of it as a touch of medieval recreation with a whole lot of fun. I've started fencing. Having wanted to learn various sword arts since I was little, this is pretty awesome. I've met alot of people doing this and made some friends too.
Admittedly, I am working for the most part on keeping my aggression in check. Fighting again has given me an outlet for my energy, something I figure I must've needed for a while. I still flail lots, but I'm improving! Apparently I have a unique way of moving... when I actually get moving. There's a fair bit of overcoming fears involved as well. Progress, progress.
Lots of good people in the group. Fun to hang out with and chat it up. I'll get over the shyness/intimidation eventually, I'm gonna have to. I'm a chiurgeon now. Means I'm a first aid volunteer, so I'm gonna have to actually deal with people. I'm used to being the one sitting in the background silently pulling strings, not being a more public face. Its an interesting twist that I'm gonna roll with for a while, see where it leads me. It puts my training to use, so it can't be that bad. And I doubt I'm going to be dealing with anything as bad as what I've been trained for.

Speaking of training, I'm going to need to re-cert my EMR, Emergency Medical Responder, training in a year's time. I'm still teaching First Aid for a living and have even (finally!!!) had my first class in this city. I commute quite a bit, which leaves me unable to attend all the practices and events I want. Work hard, play hard I suppose. My training has kind of opened up quite a few doors too. First aid for the workplace, first aid for Child care, Health care settings... Math??? Lots of different things now. Though I still find it hard to believe I'm tutoring math online.

Online is an interesting subject, for sure. The end of last year had me 'inherit' a guild on World of Warcraft. (Aka, have it dropped in my lap) Its for the better though, it seems things are going good with it! I've met tons of people all over Canada and the States this way. (*points and flails at Aki lee!*) Heck, I have some of them that randomly phone me up to chat. I'm still very awkward on the phone though. Ironic because I can talk over voice chat with other gamers. I've been hanging out with "The Ebon Legion" in game, recently. Great group, they understand my humor... the light and darker side of it. I'm thinking of asking the owner of the Ventrilo server if I can sneak my guild on there too. Just for shits and giggles.
Doing the latest yearly event with Hrunter (my favorite roleplay character on the game) chatting it up on the EL Vent, I wound up meeting a cadet from Midrealm! I asked him and apparently, if I send him a video of a few fights he'll help me pick out a few things to work on. Hells yes. Its great to be able to talk blades with someone so randomly. And... apparently, if ever I go to an event where he is, I have a standing challenge.

Art wise, things have slowed down. I did submit alot of things last year, mostly characters that came of my roommate's roleplaying games. There's been alot less roleplaying this year, but... it doesn't hurt too much. I still get my fix. I'm kind of trying to follow a suggestion from a friend, gonna 'just draw' sometime soon. See where it gets me. I feel like I've been improving, taking a look at the crap in my gallery and my older stuff. I think I'm gonna stick with drawing Hru, or Runt as one of my SCAdian friends calls him. Though I have to admit, being cheered on while fencing as "Runt" is... mildly amusing yet frustrating at the same time. Oh well. He gets to be "Troll".

I'm still trying to pick out an SCA name. I've kind of settled on Amano Tora. Amano as a tribute to Amano Yoshitaka, Tora for my utter love of tigers. The name just doesn't... sit well though. There's very few people I admit my feline side to. To have Tora as part of a name doesn't work for me. And no, please don't make any "Yuri" jokes, as much as its a period first name, I don't want it either.

I guess this kind of plays into the identity issue thing that I've had going on for a few years. I take on too much of the personality elements of people around me. While this could be good when I'm surrounded by people with positive... ness... it often doesn't wind up that way. I find myself too often going "This isn't me." or "This isn't who I want to be.", "I don't actually like this, why am I here?". This is something I want to figure out. What are my likes? Dislikes? What are my true feelings on a subject, what is it I believe? Too many half truths and lies over the years, so many questions. There're some people that I've been around lately, enabling me to find the answers. I like this. Its a little weird to explain sometimes, but I'll find a way to thank them. And apologize for slipping back into my old ways when I feel vulnerable. I'll break that eventually, I hope they'll understand.N